Started from the Bottom in the D

I hope the title made you start singing that Drake song. Well, now we’re here. As opposed to how I’ve named all of my other posts, I couldn’t think of one word to describe this topic’s relation to Detroit, so instead, I chose a phrase – Started from the Bottom. If any of you try to tell me you haven’t had to do this in one way or another in your lives, I’d tell you you’re probably lying to me. So here it is, the post I finally found time to finish, written in bits and pieces over the last few months, appropriately related to the end of one year, and the beginning of this new one.

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished… yet that, that will be the beginning.

$18.5 billion in debt. 2/3 of residents moving out over the last 60 years. Government corruption. Poverty. Crime. An urban wasteland. These are all ways in which one can describe aspects of Detroit. Yes, I have always been an advocate of promoting the positives of downtown, yet you cannot ignore the broken parts of our city too. A few months ago, Detroit declared bankruptcy, and not only your average everyday declaration of bankruptcy, but the largest filing for bankruptcy in the history of this country. Start from the bottom? Try starting from ROCK bottom. This was a point where our city was forced to stop, take a step back, look at what it had become, and start anew, to fix what had spiraled downward out of control.

After things are a certain way for so long, you start to think that they are normal…

Recently 60 Minutes did a story on Detroit. They pointed out the little things that our city lacks that most other major metropolitan cities may not even think twice about not having – functioning street lights, police forces that are able to promptly respond to 911 calls, a working fire engine hose, a safe place for children to go outside for recess during school. Sometimes it takes outsiders to pull you aside and say, “No, these things aren’t normal!” After 50 years of the city moving backward, it became a question of whether the city will ever move forward or if it is ultimately stuck here at the bottom. Can Detroit and the people in it build up from the bottom and redefine themselves as something new?

Well, I believe we already have. You see so much in the news or articles related to our city and the positives going on throughout it. People are almost obsessed with taking pictures or writing about (yes, I’m included in this group) the deserted parts of the city, intrigued by what the city once was, and with what it could become. The atmosphere and energy in Detroit are contagious – an odd sort of love for a broken city, an anxiousness to tap into its potential and see what it can truly be rebuilt as.

I recently ventured down to Comerica Park to watch the Wings-Toronto outdoor alumni game doubleheader. The Grind Line, #19, the Perfect Human, the Russian Five, all hockey legends I grew up watching along with the ones immortalized in the rafters above in Joe Louis Arena – like Mr. Gordie Howe and Ted Lindsay just to name a couple. Besides feeding my inner hockey nerd with the legendary lineup, this entire event was great for our city. I also expect that a vast number of those visiting Michigan for the Winter Classic (which was, hands down, one of the coolest hockey experiences I’ve ever had, walking into the snowy Big House full of 106,000 crazy hockey fans) ventured down to our great city. So besides bringing in revenue (we need to make money too people), these events brought everyone downtown to see how much fun Detroit can be – and allowed them to catch that “contagious” attitude to do good for Detroit.

Detroit has many positives on its horizon. A new mayor with his Transition Detroit plan. All of the work the Illitch family does for the city’s sports teams. All of Dan Gilbert’s work on purchasing and developing the buildings downtown. The publicity that visiting celebs give our city. And so much more. Detroit may be starting from the bottom, but it has a brighter future ahead.

And in the end, all we are left with is a sense of hope – hope that it was all worth it.

Going with my traditional style of blogging, I have to make some comments about golf, Crossfit, coaching, law school, and life in general; it wouldn’t be a complete post if I didn’t.

Golf. Oh golf.. This last summer I competed in my usual USGA national qualifiers. One of the biggest challenges with this game is all on a mental level. When you compete in higher caliber tournaments, you really begin to see how important this part of the game is. My dear friend Jaime even came to caddy for me once, and the first thing she says, never being at a golf tournament at this level, “IT IS SO QUIET OUT HERE, how do you stay calm and focused??” Yes, my tournaments are typically borderline silent, a weird sort of peacefulness around the course that is not peaceful at all, but full of golfers pining for that qualifying spot. And, well, funny story, that’s what I struggled with – the “you’ll never be good enough” voices that seem so loud amidst the quiet. But I still competed, forcing myself to focus on my game, this game that can’t be won, only played. And in all three national qualifiers, I placed as the alternate. Not once, not twice, but all three times. One stroke. Every single qualifier. ONE SINGLE STROKE. Good enough to get on the website, to get my name on the USGA players list, to be on their list to call immediately upon an opening in the national championships. And yet, I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t get any calls. I prepared leading up to the tournaments as if I was going, making hotel reservations, ready to book last minute flights out to the sites around the country, constantly checking my phone. It was a golf season of constant anxiety and frustration, hoping for something to work out, but it never did.

Start from the Bottom. I put my clubs away for a while after that last qualifier, making it to the last two players in a 7-person sudden death playoff and then losing on a ruling call by one of the officials. To say I was furious after that tournament, after that entire summer, would be an understatement. Now, a few months have passed and I’ve begun my practice regimen again. And come this summer, amidst the absolute hell known as preparing for the bar exam, I will compete again. Just can't give it up. And maybe, just maybe, I'll knock that one stroke off my scores.

And from the darkness comes glimmers of hope, small at first, yet growing with time.

Crossfit. Where do I even start with this topic.. It seems like everyone is “chugging the Crossfit koolaid” these days. The small box atmosphere I started with seems dead, and the “you’ll never be good enough” voices have been louder than ever. They’ve quieted down lately, but this came with a drastic change in my outlook towards what is, when you really look at it, a workout and nothing more. Yes, you can make it more than that; you can make any sport or activity more than what it is. I’ve done that with golf. And if you have that freedom and talent to do so, I commend you. I really do. Focus on your strengths, but I realized Crossfit is not mine. For so long, I hadn't truly been doing this for myself. I probably won’t ever be able to back squat absurd weight with my long gangly legs or split jerk anything crazy because my baby wrists may shatter. I’ve done this for nearly two years, and it has been an exhausting roller coaster ride most of the time.

Don't everyone get all butthurt now, I still love doing this. And I’ve always been competitive; I’ve prided myself on never settling, on always expecting a lot from myself. However, recently I had to step back and change my entire outlook on Crossfit. I don't really view myself as what you would call a “Regionals level” athlete, and trying to keep up with some of the weights these girls throw around was eating away at me. So instead, I help others where I can. I’ve come a long way from where I started a couple years ago, so now it is important that I give back. A small piece of advice to new athletes or encouragement to our better athletes, or ‘dads’ as I like to call them at Spartan, can sometimes make all the difference. My next blog post will be fully dedicated to my goodbye to Spartan because it has been such a big part of my life, so I’ll leave my more in depth discussion for that. So for now, I start from the bottom. I go to Spartan for the people, for the laughs with Michael, for my life-chats and joking around with Jaime, for spending time with my girls, for watching Dads lift heavy Dad weight, and for the family I found up in Lansing. Oh yeah, occasionally I workout too.

To whom much is given, much is expected.

This is my fourth year coaching basketball at good old Mercy High. Just as I said with Crossfit, you have to give back. All you were given, all you’ve been taught, all that coaches have given you, all of your happy memories, your experiences you’ll never forget - even if it is in small ways, you need to give back. And so I coach. My four years at Mercy were some of my best. My closest friends today are my closest friends from high school. Yes, I commute to Farmington Hills from East Lansing 4 times a week. Yes, the driving to some sounds absurd amidst everything else in my schedule. But my girls have always been worth it. Whether it’s a big win or the hugs hello from the team or the girls complimenting my outfits I wear for our games, it’s impossible not to smile. So where does “Start from the Bottom” come into play? Well, I’ve been blessed with quite the powerhouse teams the past three years. But sometimes, you have to work harder… Nothing truly worth having ever comes easily.

My girls this year are an energetic bunch. Energetic, but also a team that must work hard if they want to succeed. I had to talk with my Jaime at the beginning of a very different season from last year, whose husband runs Grand Ledge’s basketball program, on turning into a “mean” coach. There it was. Start from the Bottom. I hadn’t really had to do this in the past, but sometimes, you need to be yelled at. Repeatedly. Sometimes you need to run more. Sometimes you need to not get playing time because we play to win. Oh, you’re sad about not getting playing time? TOUGH. Work harder and get better. Yes, I have this side, but I still joke around with the girls too. That’s where the memories are made - the hard work, the success, but also the comradery. So always remember to give back. I remind the girls to cherish their time at Mercy, the four years fly by. I likewise tell anyone going on to play basketball in college, or any collegiate sport for that matter, to cherish your four years there, the NCAA only gives you that many. Make the most of the time you’re given; don’t waste it because when it’s gone, it’s gone. And then, sometimes, you start from the bottom again.

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

Oh law school. I’m done in 4 months. The “Fake Law Student” is done in 4 months (apart from the small thing known as the bar exam, of course). Where this time went, I cannot tell you. In less than a year, real life can begin. And, contrary to everything I pictured at the end of my time in EL, it probably will not be in Michigan.

Start from the Bottom. You can’t plan things in life. Sure, you can set them out perfectly in your head, the job, the relationship, the life you imagine as "perfect," but usually then the joke’s on you. I’ve come to find, for me at least, expectations hardly match up to reality. But that’s what we all have to embrace, that we never know what will happen today, tomorrow, in a month, in a year. I’ll come back to Michigan, but for now, its time for a new start in a new city.

Sometimes the most difficult lessons, the hardest challenges, hold the greatest gems of light.

You’re awfully quiet. You aren’t saying much. You look disinterested in life. You look unrecognizably unhappy. Your head is always down. You don’t seem yourself lately. You don’t smile much. You don’t seem like you care anymore. You aren’t the person I used to know.

All of these comments had been said to me over the last 6 months or so by family and friends, and even my old bosses; and I won’t say that any of them were untrue. I allowed that same sense of spiraling downward that our city had experienced to hit me. I went along everyday, avoiding interaction with people at work, overloading my schedule with two legal jobs, giving golf lessons, coaching basketball, law school classes, golf, Crossfit, traveling, doing anything and everything I could to fill some sort of void in my life. I trusted no one. I was bitter and cynical. I expected to be let down. I diminished the good and exemplified the bad. Why look forward to anything when you’d only be disappointed. So at some point, right before my sweet Marie’s wedding in late December, which I was blessed to be standing up in, I was fed up. Enough was enough. Start from the Bottom.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.

You hit points in life where you realize you need to change, that you are done with how you react, with who you’ve become, or with your general outlook on things. For me, I had had enough of 2013. I wanted a newer and brighter outlook on things to come. The hope that the future holds something better than what a darker past year held. So for all of you, rather than forming some sort of stupid “I want to lose 3 pounds” resolution, come up with ways to become a better person. Expect more of yourself and less of others. Look to the positives, don’t focus on the negatives. Be thankful for the many things you have, not on those you don’t. Be appreciative. Be sincere. Be humble. Be giving. Be truthful. And above all else, just smile. This is getting a bit away from Detroit, but Detroit has a brighter future in 2014 as well. A city with a resolution to be a better place in the new year.

Detroit isn’t just a national treasure, it IS America. And wherever you may live, you wouldn’t be there and wouldn’t be who you are in the same way – without Detroit.

So I raise my coffee cup now, which was formerly a bottle of champagne, to all of you. 2013 – thank you for the lessons. 2014 – let's go. May you all have a blessed 2014 full of laughter and fun, and most importantly, many trips to the one and only Detroit city.