In no way, shape, or form do I have any business
writing this with 5 law school finals looming about a week away (plus I really
should back-off on my caffeine consumption) but amidst the tragic events on
Marathon Monday, a new blog entry was due. I began writing this about a month ago on a
flight home from Florida, but never posted it. Sometimes just writing to write
is nice. With some tweaks to it, I’ll do my usual chatting about Detroit,
Crossfit, golf, law school, and of course, life in general. But the main focus
this time is Boston, which will get my best attempt at a ‘wicked awesome’ part
dedicated to it at the end.
Perseverance – continued effort to do or achieve something despite
difficulties, failure, or opposition
Well, here we go again. Last
month, during my layover in Atlanta on my way down to Florida, I saw it. Waiting
at my gate, CNN National News was reporting a story about Detroit and our
ever-impending financial crisis, and quite possibly one of the worst financial
crises for any city, at least to my knowledge. Detroit with no money? Come on,
cut us a little break here. Of course the comments being made from the
reporters were all negative. Life your own lives, bros. Everyone has their problems,
ours just happen to be a bit larger than others. But our city is strong, we’ll
persevere. Its April in the D, no doubt. Our Tigers are shutting it down so
far. My beloved Red Wings, well, we’re scraping our way through these last few
games and we’ll find a way to make the playoffs again. Detroit Restaurant Week
starts soon, River Days are coming up, and summer in the D is always a good
time. There are positives in Detroit, and that’s because our city and all who
know and love it like I do know how to persevere.
We can fight our way back into the
light, we can climb outta hell, one inch at a time.
Two weeks ago today the
final WOD for the Crossfit Open was released. The end of a series of 5 weeks of
workouts to determine who makes it to Regionals was upon us. 13.1 feels like ages ago. For me, it seemed like
each week there were new battles I was fighting, and so I used these five open
WODs as the minutes I could forget about them, the minutes I could use to
release all of these stresses. Maybe this was what it meant for others too. And
whether it was Jaime, being the wonderful judge (and overall person) she was,
pushing me each time and knowing EXACTLY what to say, or Michael writing ‘Sunz
Out Gunz Out’ on my arms for some entertainment, the Open was an experience. I
saw new people at the box, like Bella and Devynn, pushing themselves to new
limits. I saw our best competitors, like Josh, Alex, and Andy, setting scores I
couldn’t even think of reaching, and Josh even making it to first page status in the region. I saw the secret beastmode side of people,
like Daphne and Elena, come out. I proudly saw Ang, Jacquelyn, and Arianna, brand new to
Plymouth Crossfit, compete in the Open. And I always got a laugh watching Pat do
the WODs. I would include a little something about everyone but that might make
this long blog post just too long. In the end, I think we all gave it everything we could in the Open. I personally know I held nothing back (this was pretty clear
since each week I re-did the WOD and each week I got basically the same score,
a few reps or so better, but basically the same). And that’s what it means to
persevere. There were obstacles I was facing, and these workouts, always done
in my familiar back corner, were what I used to keep moving forward. It's what we all must do, keep moving forward.
Be kind to all you meet, for each of us
are fighting our own battles in life.
Ehhh, I don’t really want to
write anything about law school. Perseverance? Seriously, just let me be done
with it.
Inside each and every one of us is one,
true, authentic swing. Over time the world can rob us of that swing, it can get
buried inside under all of the woulda’s and coulda’s and shoulda’s…
Bagger Vance is such a
brilliant movie. Shortly after the Crossfit Open started, the USGA began
releasing their applications for qualifiers this summer. Lord baby Jesus, help
me. I already have enough anxiety, now this too. When I saw the sites for the US
Women’s Open Qualifier released, I called my Dad to let him know when and where
it’ll be. Last year I gave the 36-hole qualifier a shot (pun intended), but
didn’t make the cut. Its tough competing with professionals, I’ll tell
you that. But this time, his response to me was nothing like I expected. “Maybe
you shouldn’t compete, it might be a waste of your money at this point.” I hung
up the phone. Golf, the ONE thing that I’ve always had no matter what, and I’m
not good enough anymore? That night I felt so defeated, felt like I had no one
to talk to, no one to turn to.
Perseverance – never giving
up. That little breakdown happened back in mid-March. But walking to the range
down in Florida a week or so after, for the first time in weeks, my mind was
clear. For those hours I hit golf balls, FINALLY nothing else mattered. My
focus was on my practice, my swing, that ball, that club, that target, and
nothing else. I can’t give this stupid game up. I’ve made the decision not to
play in the Women’s Open Qualifier this year, I’ll leave that to the LPGA
players and the 15 year old prodigies. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be
competing. Hell, I have 6 tournaments already lined up. Perseverance. This is a
game that can’t be won, only played. So I play. And I’ll keep playing. And
maybe this summer will be the summer I make it back to those National Championships
again.
One cannot find peace by avoiding life.
Up North. Boston. Florida.
Chicago. Chicago. Up North. Back in mid-February, while on my trip-booking
rampage, I was on the verge of planning another one, and then I stopped. I
remembered the quote above from The Hours. Yes, the vacations I went on
were great. Skiing, golfing, shopping, laying out, good dinners, good bars,
good company - you can’t beat any of it. But they all come to an end. And what’s
really left is perseverance. Tough times don’t last forever. Everything changes.
Things change for the better, they change for the worse, and then they tend to
bounce back and change for the better again. All we can do in the mean time is
see what life has in store for us next. You could blink and something can
change, this last Monday in Boston is proof of that. Persevere through the
difficulties. Trust things are meant to be the way they turn out, and that they
will turn themselves around again. Sometimes, that’s all we can do, and holding
onto that mindset can sometimes bring a sense of peace in our lives.
The world ain’t all sunshine and
rainbows, it’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are,
it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it . .
. its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can
take and keep moving forward.
Sitting in class, on Monday,
my fellow Michigander-Bostonian, Mike, had sent me a message. It was about
Marathon Monday. Just earlier that day, we had talked of wishing we were still
day-drinking on a roof, wandering down to South Campus to cheer the runners on,
a full day of celebrating with everyone in Boston. But this was different. He
sent me the links to some news reports. The headlines started coming out, the
tweets, the images, the video footage. Explosions near the marathon finish line.
Surely this wasn’t real, it couldn’t be… This is Marathon Monday, like
Christmas with drinks instead of presents. But as my jaw dropped, I realized this
was real. I have no idea what was taught during class Monday afternoon, this
tragedy could not have happened in a place I used to call my 2nd
home just a short time ago... But it had happened.
For 4 years, Marathon Monday
was always one of the greatest days of undergrad. My mind instantly went to
remembering the times we would head downtown later in the afternoon to watch
the runners finish. The spot we would wander to was right next to where the
bombs went off. Then images of my friends still living in the city came to
mind. Are they ok? Were they near the explosions? Are they safe? Are their
friends and family safe? Please let them be ok… With cell service down in
Boston, I resorted to frantically Facebook messaging them all. Thankfully
enough, everyone was safe. But devastatingly enough, that was not true for all.
My mind then went to the questioning. Why? Why would someone do this? How are
there people like this in the world? What unspeakable things will someone do
next? Is there really hope for anyone anymore? As I walked back to my apartment
(quite a different walk from what I used to do from class everyday, the Green
Line running down Comm Ave, the Charles River close by, and the beautiful view
of the city skyline in the distance), my mood changed again. It was one of
perspective smacking me in the face. I felt foolish, pathetic, angry, sad. Really?
You’ve been upset over all of these trivial things in relation to something
like this happening?? And this is why perseverance is a part of each and every
one of us.
I read an article from the
NY Times this morning (for those interested, here you go: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/17/us/physical-legacy-of-bomb-blasts-could-be-cruel-for-boston-marathon-victims.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0)
that made me realize even more the impact of what happened. Not only did this
tragedy happen during the Boston Marathon, but many of these injuries happened
to the runners, injuries to their legs and feet. Marathon runners – those who
have a true passion for what they do – suffering severe leg trauma, some needing
their leg(s) amputated. Now I am in no way a marathon runner. Yes, I run, I
enjoy running, I’m ok at running, but 26.2 miles, WOW. So for these poor
victims of the explosions, thinking they’re about to cross the finish line for
the 1st, 2nd, or 30th time, to face this
instead, to wake up Tuesday morning without a leg or a foot, without what they
need to do what they love, what they need to run? Unthinkable. Puts it all into
perspective again – to have what you love doing taken away from you, for no
reason? So be grateful each and every day for what you have, for what you are able
to do, for who you have in your life, and for what they mean to you. Just another
example of the need to always keep persevering.
To Boston, you’re as strong
a city as I know (and that’s a lot coming from my Detroit-loving self). You
will bounce back from this stronger than ever. That’s why we face obstacles in
our lives, to make us stronger in the end. There are always points in our lives
where we make it through a hard time. There’s a moment when the person
you have become looks back at the sad, defeated, struggling old version of
yourself. That new, stronger person can then offer a helping hand and look the
weak and exhausted older version of yourself in the eye and say, ‘See? It’ll
all be ok in the end, just keep going, keep persevering…’ There is always a
light at the end of dark points in our lives. Boston, whether the light for you
is the beacon Citgo sign or your skyline’s building lights or the bright lights
at Fenway, there is a light for you after this tragedy. And you and everyone in
the city will fight together and come out stronger for each Boston Marathon in
the future.
And above all else, I hope you have happiness along this unknown road ahead.
In a letter I wrote to a
close friend of mine recently I included this quote, a quote I happened to have
written in an old blog entry of mine. And this, I believe, is what the real
goal of persevering is - to find happiness. Because if that’s not what we’re
searching for, then what is it that we’re fighting these battles for? So to my Detroiters,
to my Bostonians, and to everyone else out there, here’s to finding happiness
at the end of your bumpy roads, that when you reach the end of your persevering,
when you can take the deep sigh of relief that you’ve made it, you reach it
with a smile on your face.
