“It takes heart to fight
for something that so many consider a lost cause - a strong mind to breathe
life into that cause and prove so many wrong. Keep your heart true and your
mind strong, Detroit.”
“Will you just
be patient?!? Remember, patience is a virtue.” This statement, I venture to
say, is often accompanied by a rolling of the eyes, a deep sigh and a
disgruntled “I know...” Hello again everyone, it’s been awhile since I’ve
written to you, so I believe it’s that time again. Patience in the D is what
I’ll be discussing as this New Year is now upon us. So sit back and grab a warm
cup of your favorite brew. I hope you enjoy my latest ramblings on Detroit,
golf, CrossFit and life in general, and how all of those require a little thing
I call patience.
“What we have to remember
is that we can still do anything, we can change our minds, we can start over.
The notion that it’s too late to do anything is comical. We can’t.. no, we must
not lose this sense of possibility, because in the end, it’s all we have.”
Detroit. Our
city has had its ups and downs throughout the years, there’s no denying that. I
would like to boast that it is on its way up, but this comes with a sense of
patience with the process. We aren’t going to wake up one day and, BAM, a similar
city dynamic of Chicago or Boston or even NYC has popped up where the derelict
streets used to lie. Instead, we take small steps in the right direction over
time - Mr. Illitch’s “District,” the M1 Light Rail, and countless new residents
in apartments and lofts downtown, just to name a few (and hopefully a Lions
Super Bowl eventually, once the refs cut us a break). Detroit, the great
American comeback city - a city where even the smallest of initiatives can make
a positive impact. Give it a few more (patient) years, and we’ll have come back
even more so than ever before. Somewhat freshly out of law school, I can say
that we all face a similar challenge in developing our careers. We may not be
where we envisioned ourselves professionally just yet, but, again, with
patience and small steps in the right directions, we will get there. And that
is a journey I am still embarking on.
“The loneliest moment in
someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all
they can do is stare blankly.”
There were
moments in time when Detroit seemed to have fallen into this same moment –
where the city continued to fall apart, and people felt as though nothing could
be done. However, over time, there has been new life building throughout our
city. Patience. All of the developments downtown have come from hard work,
dedication, and patience. The arrival of a new year has a way of inspiring
people to create goals. Whether big or small, the end of one year and start of
the next always seems to motivate people to make changes in their lives for the
better; and these goals you seek often require patience. If you’re trying to
accomplish anything in life, it will come with the same dedication and hard
work we have shown Detroit, and most importantly, yes, I’m going to say it
again - PATIENCE.
“First, you must see;
second, you feel; third, you trust. Trust is the epitome of golf. It is the
freedom to swing and let go. Great athletes compete best when they are free… And
this, this requires rhythm, balance, and patience.”
I’ll admit that,
at times, patience is something I struggle with. Except in one thing... Golf. I
read a spectacular book recently about this wonderful game, which is where the
above quote comes from (Golf’s Sacred
Journey, if anyone is interested). If you play golf, and especially if you
play golf competitively, you know how much patience is a factor - not only in
practice sessions at the range, studying your swing to make even the most
intricate of changes to improve it, but when you are actually competing. Hit a
bad shot? If you get angry, get ready to hit at least 5 more bad shots.
Patience is key.
Yet that is part
of what makes the game so humbling. Some days everything is on point; you hit
lasers at the pins, you sink every putt. And then, there are the other days… you
might not be able to hit a fairway even if your life depended on it. You play
with what you have that day – and you play with patience. Mastering a golf
swing takes a lifetime of dedication, so stick with it; I promise that you won’t
be disappointed if you do. Because when you’ve had patience with yourself and
with this game, and everything comes together, it truly is a beautiful thing.
“Whether in golf or in
life, it’s time to get out of your own way and let the real you shine. Find
what you do well and perfect it.”
In anything you
choose to dedicate countless hours of practice or training to, for one reason
or another, you’re bound to fall into a bit of a funk every now and then. My
particular one in golf lasted an infuriating year and a half. In 7 qualifiers,
I found myself in the alternate spot in 5 of them, I missed it by one stroke, one
single stroke… 5 times. This game takes an immense amount of mental strength
and focus, two things I had lost, and had spent much too long trying to find
once again. Patience. Have patience. Change your mentality, the swing is there,
but have patience. And then, this last September, there it was. My old golf
game had come back. But the tournament win wasn’t what was most important to me
– it was the feeling of knowing I had found my game again. And that, undoubtedly,
came with patience.
“So we beat on, boats
against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
If life is not
going your way, things tend to spiral; one negative thought piles onto the next
until you feel as though you’ve lost control. This is a point when you
absolutely must find patience, not only with yourself, but with all of the
curveballs life throws at you. So if you’re having these same struggles in
something you’re passionate about, keep going. Do not give up. Have patience
with life’s path – trust it will all turn around for the better. And it will turn
around, because you know deep down that it will, and that is exactly why you
keep working at something you love. And if ever down the road, any of you care
to get a round in at the golf course, I always love the company.
“Every champion has
convictions, but perennial champions have convictions based on foundations.
These foundations become the first line of defense when facing adversity.”
CrossFit. I’ll
make this topic short, because CrossFit talk gets annoying sometimes. We have
all heard of the proverbial “plateau” you hit. Everyone chugs the kool-aid right
out of the gate because you often make so much progress so quickly, then you
hit that wall and gains come at a slower pace. This requires patience. But we
all know that.
If you’re like
me in CrossFit, your own worst enemy often is yourself. I would describe myself
as tall and gangly (and albeit, competitive), and in an environment where
you’re often surrounded by those lifting more than you or working faster than
you, patience with yourself becomes key to not losing your mind. Following a
change in boxes, I wrote on their whiteboard of goals “to have confidence in
myself again.” So I suggest you do the same – set goals for yourself, and have
patience in the process of working towards making them reality.
If you ever
find yourself frustrated with not progressing as quickly as you’d like or not
hitting your percentages lifting on a given day, stop for a second. Step back,
remind yourself it is only CrossFit, and if you’re upset over a workout (even
though, yes, I know, the Open is coming up soon), I suggest you make changes to
your perspective on life and what is truly important. Instead, laugh at
yourself for reacting this way; remember it is just fitness, and get back at it
harder the next day. Gains will come.
“No light, no light in your
bright blue eyes; I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light
of day, you can’t choose what stays and what fades away”
Relationships.
I’ll be going in two different directions with this topic, so hang in there
with me… There are many times in life where patience is a necessity. What I am
about to discuss is not one of those times. Insanity is defined as doing the
same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result. If you find
yourself in a situation or a relationship where you have to convince yourself
to be patient, but in a negative way – that if you’re patient, he or she will
stop ignoring you, stop lying to you, stop disrespecting you, stop pushing you
off to the side whenever someone better comes along – WARNING, you’ve now
exhibited traits of insanity, not patience. If you keep yourself in hurtful
situations like this, you only fuel the downward spiral, which I will say is
not something to easily dig yourself back out of. In these instances, cut that
toxicity out of your life for your own good, and shift your patience onto
yourself, and onto trusting that your life will fall into place as it is meant
to with whom it is meant to.
Marriage. Ha, no,
not me crazy, I’m not getting married right now. Everyone else may be, but not
me. When the list of engagements seems to constantly be growing, anxiety can
run quite high, and this is where patience, once again, becomes a necessity –
patience that you will also, one day, find the person you are meant to spend
the rest of your life with, to find happiness with, to start a family with, to
grow old with. Past relationships, no matter how good or bad they may have
been, teach us lessons. Each person that comes into and out of our lives has an
impact on who we become. Some remain, and some do not. Yet there is the hope
that we all find the person who truly makes us a better version of ourselves.
And patience will always be there to help us along the way.
“’For I know the plan I have
for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans
to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11
At the end of
the day, no matter what life throws at us, we must always keep on going. My friends
have reminded me many times that you have to have faith that you are exactly
where you are supposed to be at any given moment in your life. If it is not a
moment or reality you had ever pictured for yourself, then you have to remember
that patience is what you seek. Be patient with God’s plan for you, that on His
time, you will have everything work out for the best. And when it does, you can
sit back and smile, for patience helped get you to this point. So, to end, I
leave you with a quote from one of my favorite classic American books, and well
wishes for your 2015. Approach this New Year with an open mind, a hopeful
heart, ambitious goals, and patience. Oh, and a few trips to Detroit, of
course.
“Gatsby believed in the
green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It
eluded us then, but that’s no matter – tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out
our arms farther.”
