Change in the D

Change, even change we at first perceive to be negative, brings opportunity. The challenge is to see beyond the heartache and grasp the opportunity.

I’ve used this quote before but it seems best for this new blog entry - Change in the D. I originally started writing this back in late April, then put it aside with no intention of even finishing it, just writing to write. For a number of reasons, I decided to revisit and finish what I wrote. So here it is, my rant about Change, and the good and bad sides of it, relating to my usual topics of Detroit, golf, crossfit, and, of course, life in general.

Detroit is known for the resilience of its people…[it] is still the symbol of a fighting-back city. And I believe it’s going to come back.

Well, I might as well start this off with change happening within our city. This first quote was from a recent article discussing where Detroit will go with its new development plan. Kevyn Orr, our new emergency city manager, recognizes the daunting task on his hands. With Detroit billions upon billions of dollars in debt, it’s no easy feat. Yet you can look around and see all of the opportunities that can come with change. The vacant lots he plans on clearing can be used for new parks, new lofts, or new businesses. So do your part in seeing these changes by making trips downtown. Speaking as someone who loves planning fun activities in Detroit, I promise you won’t be disappointed. But these plans to improve the city will not happen overnight, nor will they happen while Orr remains the emergency manager. The change to Detroit will continue for years to come. No, it will not ever be the Detroit it used to be, just as with so many things in life. But we can all work at making changes to Detroit ones for the better, to redefine the city that fell as something bigger and brighter.

Detroit is dying. But it has a chance - slim, perhaps, yet within our grasp - to live.

I won’t relate this quote to just Detroit. Everyone goes through rough patches in life, times of change where this quote can be very relatable. For me, it epitomized how I had felt for a couple months or so, grasping onto any small semblance of happiness I could find. Change continued to kick me into the ground, and when I’d try to get up, it would kick me right back down again, each time harder than the last. Throw that in the middle of five law school finals (which I will NEVER do again), and you’ve got an image of the hot mess I had become. I let myself continue to spiral down, hoping I’d eventually hit the bottom.

But Detroit can change its story – a possible brighter future, albeit a challenging one, for the Motor City. And perhaps Detroit cannot get better until it hits rock bottom, but then the city will have no place to go but up.

There come times where we can get wound up in things, whether it’s a job, a class, a sport, a person, training, coaching, competitions, projects, anything really. We get so caught up that we can lose focus on what is really important, who is really important, and what we really want. I remember finishing a run a few weeks ago when it hit me that I had lost all focus on what I used to want in my life, what I used to work so hard for. I sat alone outside of my crossfit box on one of our tires and tried to remember what it was I used to want. The list began with pretty general things, and then continued to grow. What was it that I wanted? I wanted to eventually work in Detroit, to do something good for my city. I wanted to qualify for my USGA National Golf Championships again. I wanted to become a faster, stronger Crossfitter, and a positive influence to others at Spartan. I wanted to continue to be a coach that my high school basketball girls look up to, that they go to for advice, or for a laugh and a hug. I wanted the kids I give golf lessons to to have that bright smile on their face when they hit the ball, to find their own love for the game that I love. I wanted to always be a good friend, to be someone people can turn to, someone they can trust. And then the one thing I really wanted more than anything hit me… at that moment, sitting on my old tire, I wanted nothing more than to make it thru a whole week, no, a whole day, without thinking I have nothing to offer.

A better future awaits Detroit if those of us who call the city home make the right choices.

I have a wonderful friend from Spartan that I run with and talk with all the time. She has told me before that if you find yourself feeling sad, it is because you are thinking of the past, and if you feel anxious, you’re worried about the future. So no matter what changes you may come to face in your life, live in the moment. Recognize the good things going on during the present; recognize them and be thankful for them. Find happiness in even the smallest of things each and every day. Change is inevitable, but it’s how we approach it that ultimately defines our attitude in our lives.

Yet we have a ribbon of hope. Our city is never going to be what it was, but what we have is a time for change. It is a time to come together to take advantage of each and every opportunity.

On a lighter topic, there was a group from the D that faced a great deal of change recently. Of course I’m talking about my Red Wings. With their Perfect Human gone, the team needed to adjust to change. We struggled a bit in the season, many doubting if we’d make the playoffs with so much change to our reliable hockey team. But our new captain was not going to see our flawless playoff appearance streak break on his watch. The Wings overcame the changes they faced, the young players began to adjust to this new level of play. And then we proved so many wrong and made the playoffs. Change?!? Our Wings took the change they had to face, pulled a Datsyuk-ian deke around it, and beat it back with a hockey stick and a Kronner check to the boards – an example for all of us to follow. So with that, I’m calling us bringing the Cup home next year.

Discipline is very simply remembering what you want; discipline yourself to whatever path you must take to achieve your goals, and make the conscious choice to stick with that path each and every day, no matter what changes you may face.

Crossfit crossfit crossfit. Yup, there’s change with this too. Recently, my coach at Spartan posted videos from our old box to show to someone who had never seen them, never seen where SCF started. That day I watched all of the ones that our coach, Pat, made. And so much has changed since then. I didn’t recognize myself in some parts. All of the OGs, as we call them, have improved so much – a visible example of change. Change in their ability to do so much more, whether being able to lift heavier, do more sets of movements unbroken in the WODs, or now having handstand pushups or butterfly pullups on lockdown. For whatever reason, I thought back to the day I got my first strict muscle-up. It was Valentine’s Day. And I hate Valentine’s Day. But this change, finally getting the stupid thing, everyone there cheering me on when I got it, first girl at Spartan to do so, was a change I appreciated. That same night I was with an old friend discussing the upcoming Crossfit Open. I remember lying awake thinking of how much had changed since the previous year. Back then I didn’t even know what the Open was, and now I was signed up for it. Sometimes it takes looking back to where you started in order to appreciate the changes that you’ve accomplished. For some who start at the bottom, looking at accomplishments because of change can then be that much sweeter (my tall, lanky, non-gymnastics, ‘stay as calm as possible no matter what’ competitive golf mindset appreciates this).

The things that last, they carry on,

Some flicker fast and then they’re gone

The way I used to approach crossfit when I started last year at the old box is also different now in this new box we’ve moved to, another change. People have come and gone, and the memories from the old box will remain there with our graffitied wall that can still be seen through the dark windows. Crossfit is what you make of it. And no matter what changes you face, you should always continue to do it for you, to prove to yourself what you can accomplish.

You have to believe that something different can happen,

He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right.

And now onto the next usual topic: Golf. This sport, as dumb as it is, is full of CONSTANT change. Change in weather conditions, change in the type of course, the pin placements, the yardage, the strength of the playing field, even change in what aspects of your game are working on any given day of competition, and what aspects are not. I’ve also come to see a change in the talent at my qualifiers, a much higher level of skill to compete against. But I’ve never let changes related to golf knock me down. Change is an obstacle to overcome. And you can relate this to anything you truly love doing - waste no time amidst mediocrity. Be better than everyone else. Compete against the best. And win against the best. When you succeed, the feelings of happiness are that much greater. And even though when you fail, the feelings of disappointment are that much greater also, this shows your true passion and can make you want to succeed even more. In golf, there is a great deal of importance placed on the speed of your club at impact with the ball. For that split second, you give that shot everything you’ve got. And well, guess what, you can do that in everything else in life – jobs, relationships, school, competitions. Change should not hinder what you want; it is something you must rise above.

If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough. If you are thankful for what you do have, you will end up having even more. Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul.

I have to give credit to a friend of mine, she originally posted this quote and it was too good to pass up. Before I started writing this, I re-read the blog entry I wrote a year ago on Acceptance in the D, right after my first year of law school was done. Now, a little over a year later, so much is different, some of what I wrote still being true, and some of what I wrote taking a 180-degree turn. So there I saw it again - Change. Now what should this new rant of mine leave you with, amidst so much change that will continue to happen in your life?

Appreciate what you have while you have it. Appreciate who you have while they’re in your life. Appreciate your accomplishments. Appreciate even the smallest of gestures of kindness from others. Return those gestures of kindness with your own. Go out of your way to do nice things for others. I know its been said before, but change can sneak up on you and what you once had that you didn’t fully appreciate could be gone in an instant. And adjusting to that change can sometimes be a daunting task, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Never take advantage of what you have in your life; and yet, at the same time, always be open to change. Detroit, I look forward to whatever changes you will see in the years to come. And, taken from a shirt I recently purchased, you either love Detroit…or you’re wrong.